Whenever you have kids, you have stories, and this past month has been the motherload of all stories.
It all started about 3 weeks ago when my wife was feeding our youngest, Laura Sophia dinner. We have all had those nights when you are tired, you have had a long day and you just want to feed your kids and get them down........QUICKLY!!! So this night, Laura decided to give Laura Sophia her first scrambled egg. This was about 5:30 P.M. and all went well until about 1o:30 PM when we heard her crying. I went in there and brought her in the room with Laura and myself. We noticed very quickly that she was swollen up, clawing at her ears, and also that she was breaking out in hives. This was not good. In the moment that it took us to call the doctor, it seemed like she was gasping for air. It was at that point that we made the rush decision to run with her to the ER. We got there probably around 11:30 and by the time that we left it was close to 2:AM. Luckily, it was nothing that a little Benadryl couldn't handle and we know now that she will not be enjoying dads lovely Colorado omlettes.
It wasn't long after that, probably a couple of weeks that we were preparing for Laura's surgery. Nothing major, but it was the typical outpatient removal of a Ganglion cyst on her right wrist. We had been planning this for a while so it was no big deal, right........WRONG, and you couldn't be more wronger. Here is how the whole deal went down.
Laura and I have a lovely older home in East Pensacola Heights, close to the bay. By older, I mean that the house was built in 1941. We love it and have tended to it (especially after Ivan...) and made upgrades and changes that help it. Well, as with any home, you can tend to have some....let's say issues from time to time. This issue was for the past couple of weeks we had heard some "movement" inside our walls. Scratching to be specific. I was very concerned due to the fact that me and rodents don't get along that well. So I did what any normal homeowner would do. I searched along every baseboard and wall that I could get to and looked for any sort of entry point....this was fruitless. I put Glueboards in the attic. Nothing. Until the morning of Laura's surgery.
It was about 6AM and then I heard it...scratching. Only this time it didn't sound like it was in the wall any further...it sounded like it was in the house, scratching on the floor, even squeaking. I went to the bathroom....nothing. Hallway.....nothing. Then for some reason I turned around and I saw it stuck between the wood floor and the doorpost...a RAT. Not a mouse, a RAT....bigger than all get out. it's back legs were scratching trying to get out and it's tail was flopping back and forth like a metronome. I had never had to deal with this scenario before and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't pull him out or he would bite the ever loving #$&% out of me. I only had to think quick..which is not easy to do at 6 AM. I could chop him off...nope, too messy. What to do?? Luckily Laura's mom and dad live very close (this is one time when I was able to appreciate that) so I decided to call Laura's Dad. Then as soon as I dialed he got loose. The streak of grey lightning flashed through the hallway into the living room. All I heard from there was Laura telling me to get a holt of myself, I was going to wake the girls up. I can do this, I am a man....he is a mouse. NO...HE IS NOT A MOUSE!!! HE IS A RAT!!!!!! And I am supposed to have my mother-in-law here in just a few hours to keep my daughters whilst he is loose in the house. So, once I got Lauras dad on the phone, he came over and locked himself with me and the rat in the laundry room. Once we had spread the nets to make sure that there were no exit points we started moving shelves. I had a cane in my right hand as I was sure that I was going to wallop that sucker if he came anywhere near me....(yeah, right). It was at that time I heard Laura's dad say: "He's coming your way!" You should have seen me. At that point, time stood still. With a left hand on a cabinet and my right hand on that cane I suddenly suspended myself in mid air calling out to Jesus, Joseph, Mary and anybody else that would listen. As I was looking down that animal was running in circles below my feet. I will admit it, I was screaming like a girl. It was two seconds later that I heard it. That thing ran across one of the glue boards that we had set out. I have never heard anything more blood-curdling noise in my entire life. That thing was squealing like a stuck pig. But he was done. While I was outside gathering my composure, my father-in-law took another board and sort of "sandwiched" him with another board. He was still squealing. I had no idea what to do after that, so I just simply told him to put it in the trash container.....Luckily it was trash day.